While lying down in that hospital bed I was trying to recall what pushed me to take this step , I am I that weak ? Am I that desperate for a man , while I feel rejected , pitied , helpless and numb , I also know that this was an unhappy marriage but I did not vomit all over him with my needs and validation like he did , he chose someone over me and I don't know if it was brave of him to tell me upfront that he is falling for a girl or that he wants to open this marriage up or he was too weak. He did not have any intention to take the responsibility to keep his wife happy by hiding the truth , he was so selfish that he only thought of himself and his midlife crisis , his lack of validation from opposite sex. Though he blurted out the words but he didn't think it through , he thought may be she will understand , she the mature one in this relationship. My ask was that no one takes my place , and by that I think he thought place as wife. May it was ...